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El SkAnKiTo

[ website | SkAnKiTo's Webcam ]
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[20 Dec 2010|10:22pm]
Me and you what's going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong
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[28 Nov 2010|05:47pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

In a darkened room
Beyond the reach of God´s faith
Lies the wounded, the shattered
remains of love betrayed
And the innocence of a child is bought
and sold
In the name of the damned
The rage of the angels left silent
and cold

Forgive me please for I know not
what I do
How can I keep inside the hurt
I know is true

Tell me when the kiss of love
becomes a lie
That bears the scar of sin too deep
To hide behind this fear of running
unto you
Please let there be light
In a darkened room

All the precious times have been put
to rest again
And the smile of the dawn
Brings tainted lust singing my requiem
Can I face the day when I´m tortured
in my trust
And watch it crystallize
While my salvation crumbles to dust

Why can't I steer the ship before
it hits the storm
I've fallen to the sea but still
I swim for shore

Tell me when the kiss of love
becomes a lie
That bears the scar of sin too deep
To hide behind this fear of running
unto you
Please let there be light
In a darkened room

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[22 Sep 2010|12:57pm]
Quit acting like a fucking child and I won't have to treat you like one. You usually don't do a damned thing unless I ask you to, and then when I ask you get all pissy, saying that you were going to do it anyways and I didn't need to ask, and how I don't need to treat you like a child. UGH.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

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[10 Aug 2010|10:28pm]
I don't even know where I could start with everything I'm feeling. All I know is that I'm not happy, and this feels like a big fucking waste of time. Yeah, the entire last year and a half, sometimes I wish I could just erase all of it.
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[18 May 2010|08:34pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I have so much on my mind and so much going on in life right now. Some bad, but mostly good. Everything as a whole is stressing me the hell out. I have my fears and my doubts, but I can't turn back. This whole last year I just feel like I've been waiting, like my life has been on hold. I was forced to basically start over in my own world, a new beginning. That isn't a good thing for some people. I've done more soul searching in the past year than ever in my whole life. I do feel sometimes like a completely different person, which is again, both good and bad. Sometimes it's great, refreshing almost. Other times I feel like I'm on a road I was never meant to go down and, not that I want to, but, couldn't turn around if I did.

I will be moving, for sure before the end of June. Hopefully I find a place that will give me a free month so I can take all of June to move. My time in this place feels like I never really settled in, and it never ended up being what I wanted it to be. It was for a brief moment. If everything works out the new place will be. Work still sucks, it's the same old bullshit as always, but I just don't seem to care as much and have kind of settled into complacency with it. The band continues to go nowhere, and I continue to go nowhere musically, which tends to really get me down sometimes. I hate feeling like my talent which would take me somewhere is being wasted.

Life will be so different and better soon, and I'm both excited and terrified at the same time. I've been breaking my rules, and I don't care.




P.S. Deep down inside, I really regret what happened. I just wanted you to know that, I'm sorry.

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[08 Mar 2010|06:00pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Zee Audi is in zee shop, ya. I viil be getting eet back tomorrow, ya.

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[02 Mar 2010|10:47pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

Although my faith in believing that there are still decent people in this world was shaken this week, it has been somewhat restored. After much aggravation and uncertainty, I have $500 cash in hand from the party I believe to be responsible for the damage to my car. Also, I got an estimate on repairing said damage. It will cost approximately $350, and I will be returning any excess money to said party. Dropping the car off Monday to be fixed, and I'll get it back Tuesday.

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[29 Jan 2010|10:54pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

So... anyone out there know someone that could get / rip out and install some new carpeting for me in my apartment for cheap? I'll even throw in a 12 pack. My girlfriend's dog decided to have a meltdown and try to escape from the bedroom by going underneath the door while we were at dinner.

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[17 Dec 2009|12:06am]
Just remember that people talk, and the things you say about someone sometimes gets back around to them.
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[18 Oct 2009|11:33am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Sometimes you have to walk away to discover just how badly you really desire something.

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[11 Oct 2009|11:18pm]
[ mood | blah ]

As much as I didn't want to, I had to walk away. At least there's some closure now, as bittersweet as it may be.

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[11 Oct 2009|12:36pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

I really have no idea what is about to happen, or where this is going to end up.

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[29 Sep 2009|07:12pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

Aw yeah, I got me a hot date tomorrow. Giggity giggity!

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[19 Sep 2009|02:29pm]
[ mood | good ]

So I'd have to say the Stonecrusher show was a success last night. We were the opening band and had far more people there than the other bands combined. Lots of thanks to everyone who made it out. Overall it was a great night, but there always has to be drama. As far as I knew the show was supposed to have a $4 cover, but it was changed to $7 at the last minute. Then the door money for the night was given to the headlining band Madeline Haze to split up between the other bands. The total came to about $100 for all the bands, and they felt that since they are "on tour", and the $100 wouldn't even cover their gas to the next show, they'd just keep it and the other bands wouldn't get anything. So after talking to the sound guy who had given them the money and told them to split it up, and then thinking they had already left, we managed to track them down in their RV which was parked around the corner. After about 20 minutes of arguing between the 3 bands, we came to an agreement that the 2 local bands would take $25 each and they got the rest, as their expenses are higher than ours. The money wasn't so much the issue, as was the fact they were just going to pocket it without discussing it with the other bands.

Then my friends Raina and Daniell made it to the show, and Raina was supposed to be the designated driver for the two of them, and ended up getting drunk, so drama ensued with them which I will spare you from.

So the musical saga of my life continues. Even though the show went well last night, I am not happy in general with the band that is Stonecrusher. I do not feel the rest of the band shares the same level of seriousness I have towards music in general. Tyler, the drummer, is basically holding the band back. He makes the same mistakes repeatedly no matter how many times we try to work with him to correct them. His inability when it comes to playing and working on new songs is the reason for our lack of impetus when it comes to new material. Our newest piece took him 3 months to get to the point of being able to play it live, and it is mediocre at best. I have been pushing the other guys for a new drummer for months. They agree, but seem to have no desire to actually FIND a new drummer. I feel as if I am the only person who wants the band to be better, and be something more than a crappy local metal band.

I have become good friends with another local musician named Robert Galvan (yes, ANOTHER Robert) who is in a local band called the Black Saints. I met Robert through my friend Raina, and I have been to several of their shows to support them. I have gotten to know the other members of the band as well with the exception of Henry the drummer, who seems to be a nice person, but is just "there", I guess is the best way to describe it. To make a long story short, they are looking to replace him. Robert knows I drum and he, the other guitarist Anthony and I have jammed a couple times in their rehearsal space. So Robert is pushing hard right now for me to be the drummer for the Black Saints. Anthony and the vocalist Drew are also on board, Brian the bassist is the only one that doesn't share the same sentiment. It isn't that he doesn't like my drumming, he also just wants to see what else is out there. Everyone in the band is very serious about music, and has the same hunger for it that I do. The commitment however means Stonecrusher getting pushed to the backburner, or being quit altogether. I've invested a lot in Stonecrusher, but I don't see the band really going much further, and the Black Saints is an opportunity I cannot pass up. The goal currently is to try to have me ready to play a show with them in November, so I have my work cut out for me.

Well I have stuff to do and I've wasted enough time with this today.

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[17 Sep 2009|11:18pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I need to make a real update in this thing soon. Soooo much going on right now you have no idea. I don't know if I'll get to it this weekend, otherwise I'm out of town next week. Hopefully the show will go well tomorrow.

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[14 Aug 2009|01:51am]
[ mood | devious ]

I love it when two women vie for the same guy's attention.

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[28 Jul 2009|09:49pm]
[ mood | listless ]

I don't know which way I'm going anymore. One half wants one thing, the other wants the complete opposite. One tells me this, the other tells me that.

Someone come whisk me away from it all.

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[12 Jul 2009|09:53pm]
[ mood | happy ]

What a party last night, wow. Sux to be all those who missed it!

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[07 Jul 2009|11:29pm]
[ mood | tired ]

If only I was crazy enough to spend $74 on shoes...

PF Flyers Cousy Hightops

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[22 Jun 2009|06:53pm]
Ugh, things fall apart as usual. I'm going to get screwed, I just know it.

Take me back to that day
Yet still torn
Fighting myself
Maybe someday
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